Gill Smith
Gill Smith - Comedy Writer & Performer

Alexander Beetle

I had a VW Beetle, so that Beetle was her name,
And I called her Alexandra and she started just the same.
I put her in a garage and I cleaned her with a hose

And Tony let my fuel run out -
    Yes Tony let my fuel run out -
        He went and let my fuel run out -
            And petrol prices rose.

He said he couldn't help it, because OPEC's prices rise,
But with all that fuel duty I just knew that that was lies.

He said that he was sorry, and he really does still care
About taxing rural people and keeping budgets fair.

He said that he was sorry and we really mustn't mind
As there's lots and lots of taxes that he's certain we could find,
If we travelled into Europe and bought all our petrol cheap -
We would find that parking charges and the road tolls then seem steep.

So Tony told protestors that they really couldn't win
The PM and his government were not going to just give in
The blockaders all got talking and decided on a deal
They gave him just sixty days to respond to their appeal

At last I could get some petrol without hours in a queue.
Tony announced "I'm standing firm" and Gordon Brown did too.

Yet now that price has risen, and the tax is still no less,
And talks that might have happened haven't shown us any progress.
Crisis time is almost due, unless all demands are met,
And sixty days have now almost passed - and nothing's happened yet.

Gill Smith - November 2000

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